The 5 Stages of Cat Loss Grief (and How to Gently Purr Your Way Through Them)
12 September 2025

The 5 Stages of Cat Loss Grief (and How to Gently Purr Your Way Through Them)

In this blog, I walk you through the 5 stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—in my own whiskery way. You’ll find comfort, gentle tips, and paw-prints of hope to guide you as you heal. Grief isn’t about “getting over” your cat. It’s about carrying their love in your heart while learning to purr again. Read on, and let’s walk this soft, healing path together.

Hello, dear human friend

It’s me, Paow, your black-furred storyteller. Today, I want to sit beside you (tail neatly wrapped, of course) and talk about something that makes even the bravest whiskers droop—the loss of a beloved cat.

When a cat crosses the rainbow bridge, humans often go through what’s called “stages of grief.” Don’t worry—there’s no strict order, and you don’t have to tick boxes like a vet’s checklist. Grief is more like a wobbly climb up a tree: sometimes you slip back down, sometimes you leap forward, and sometimes you just sit on a branch and meow into the wind. And that’s okay.

Here’s what the stages can feel like, told in purrs and paw-prints:

🐾 Denial – “This can’t be real.”

You may expect to hear tiny paws padding to the kitchen, or see a shadow dart past the doorway. Your heart says, *“Maybe they’re just sleeping.”* This is your mind’s way of cushioning the shock.

How to help yourself: Keep a photo nearby. Whisper their name. Allow yourself to feel both the presence and the absence.

🐾 Anger – “It’s not fair!”

You might feel upset—at the vet, at fate, even at yourself. That’s not wrong; it’s just love looking for somewhere to go.

How to help yourself:Write your cat a letter. Tell them everything—your sadness, your love, even your frustration. Cats don’t judge.

🐾 Bargaining – “If only…”

Your mind may play “what if” games: “If only I had noticed sooner. If only I had done this differently.”

How to help yourself: Remember: you gave your cat the best life you could. They knew comfort, warmth, and love—that’s more than most creatures ever get.

🐾 Depression – “The silence is too heavy.”

This is when the house feels too empty, the sun seems dimmer, and even tuna doesn’t smell as sweet.

How to help yourself: Let yourself cry. Let yourself rest. Snuggle a blanket, light a candle, or listen to a story (I recommend ones about me, naturally). Healing is quiet work.

🐾 Acceptance – “I miss them… but I can breathe again.”

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting. It means carrying your cat in a pocket of your heart—forever. You’ll think of them and smile, even if a tear still falls.

How to help yourself: Create a ritual or keepsake. A photo frame, a garden marker, or simply saying goodnight to them each evening can bring comfort.

Final Paw-Print Thought 🐾

Grief is not about “getting over it.” It’s about learning to walk with soft paws again, even if one of your whiskered companions is no longer beside you. And remember—you are not alone. Many humans (and their cats) have walked this path. We are here, purring beside you.

With love, fur, and the gentlest head-bumps,

Paow🐾